XDF
I found myself slowly crawling inside Death’s pale Barracuda and placing the bucket of chicken nuggets on his dashboard. He was already seated stoically in the driver’s seat, waiting for me. Death ignited the car’s engine, and we set off to where ever he was planning to take me, I just sat there, accepting my fate in defeat. The first few minutes were filled with a deafening silence as he did not speak and I could not bring myself to utter as much as a squeak. The pale emperor broke the silence out of the blue, saying, “You’re awfully quiet, Benjamin, something bothering you, son?” I swallowed my own saliva and tried to sound as relaxed as I could, albeit clearly without success, “N-no, sir.” I responded in a shaky tone. “Oh, ease up, boy, have a nugget… I am not going to hurt you, I told you so already if I wanted you dead – you’d be dust already.” Before I could even process what had been said to me, Death shifted his stare towards me, his cold, deathly eyes stared at me, aloofly “Eat”, he demanded. Clearly, not wishing to mess with the being that is the actual death, I quickly shoved my arm down the bucket of chicken nuggets shuffling around for a bit before picking a piece. I slowly retracted my arm from within the bucket and carefully placed it next to my face. Taking a small bite from the meaty bit in my hand. The whole time, Death was staring at me, he wasn’t looking at the road and that made me feel even worse than before. In my mind, I was sure he’s going to crash into something, forgetting just how fragile my human body is. My gaze shifted between his face and the front windshield. Deep inside I was begging to not be hit by any sort of object. “Good, isn’t it?” He shifted his gaze towards the road as he asked me that. “Yes sir, it is…” “Oh, Benjamin… Ben… Stop being so formal, first, and second, I know you did not thoroughly enjoy that nugget. What is it? You can tell me.” He inquired. “I- it…. Lacks in spices… alright?” “So, you like your food to be spicy?” “Mhm,” “You humans and your sadomasochistic tendencies,” he chuckled. It completely caught me off guard the way he said that but he wasn’t wrong, the pleasure from eating spicy foods is a result of tissue getting damaged in our mouths and the brain’s release of hormonal painkillers to deal with the said damage. “Wouldn’t you like to know where we’re going, Ben?” he asked me, but it was clear from the way he iterated those words that he did not really care. “Where to?”, I asked, still somewhat unsure of the whole ordeal. “California… There’s going to be a unique passing over there in a bit.” “California? Isn’t that a little far?” I asked, genuinely intrigued. “Ah yes, but you should not forget who’s driving you there, we’ll be there in no time, son.” I just stared at the road ahead for a while, it seemed like we were driving on a vast and an endless road through a hilly countryside up north. I did not know this road, but I did not care enough to ask what kind of route that was. After some pondering, I’ve decided to ask Death a few questions, mostly about the inner workings of the universe. “Death, sir…” “Hm?” “How, how all of this works? What happens after you know… we naff off?” “Nothing really, I just come, kill whatever it is that is dying, and that’s it.” “So, there’s like no heaven or hell or anything?” I asked, not breaking my gaze away from the road ahead of me. “No. You have your lifespan in this reality and that’s it, it pretty much applies to anything in existence. Although there are some exceptions.” “Like God?” “There is no *God*, boy, there is a myriad of beings, like me, that could be considered gods. There is no one god with a capital G that is in charge of everything. Abrahamic religions are the odd one out, and not just on this planet. They have a clock in them as well, and when their time runs out, they will all be snuffed, by me.” “Oh… wow…” I was utterly speechless… There are more things out there, just like him, emphasis on the p plural, the thought still blows my mind away. “So how did you all come to be?” I asked. “I don’t remember, child, I am old, far older than this universe, I’ve seen a few hundred of them come and go, I ended most of them myself, this one is no exception. It is still in its toddler stage, there is still time. “I digress, I was talking about more Earthly beings that are the exceed the exception to die when their time comes. One such example is the man your religions call Cain. He crossed some species, and they ended up tying his life to the fabric of this reality in response. He will die… when this universe collapses. Until then, he is just going to try to fail to kill himself, over and over, as he has been doing for the last seventy millennia.” Death’s words sent a cold chill down my spine, there were multiple universes… There were biological species that are capable of meddling with the fabric of reality itself… And we were being proud of flying to the Moon… Christ… we are really nothing but microbes in a Petri dish. I was awestruck. I couldn’t utter a word. He continued, “There is also Elizabeth Dietrichsditter, a 15th-century peasant girl who was burnt at the stake that someone opted to bring back from the dead and give her relative omnipotence and omnipresence. “I never bothered asking who did it or why it’s not really any of my concern either. For as long as she wishes… She can exist… So, she’s somewhat out of my jurisdiction, for now.” “I… I don’t… I don’t know what to…” I stumbled, I could hardly formulate words in the face of such information. “Yes… I can’t fathom such things, but that’s what it is, I do suggest you try to turn off your anthropocentrism for as long as you are in my presence, contrary to your belief, you humans are nothing but an amusing dust spec.” Death said. I swallowed my spit and lowered my head, trying to digest what I’ve been exposed to but before I could, Death called out, “We’re here!” I looked up to find myself standing next to some Californian college; there was a large crowd of people standing in front of the car. It was somewhat hard to see through the sea of people in front of us. Death stepped out of his car first, holding onto the bucket of chicken nuggets like it was his most prized possession in one hand while leaning the other on his cane. I stumbled behind him. “So, did someone die here?” I asked, assuming I knew the answer to be positive. “No, but someone is about to, he’s about to self-immolate to protest against what he perceives as Trump’s lack of care for this state.”, Death casually said as he walked towards the crowd of spectators ahead. His answer, it disturbed me greatly, someone had planned to burn themselves to death over Trump. I mean, I did vote for the man, but I was not a staunch supporter, nor was I really against him. This; however, felt like utter stupidity. In my mind at that point, I thought whoever that idiot might be, they deserved to die. The crowd grew louder and louder with each passing moment, screaming obscenities about the president and other politicians, blaming the Pentagon for this person’s upcoming death. I found that somewhat irritating, but I opted to maintain an appearance of someone who was not bothered by the ruckus. “So, you can read my mind, but you thought this might change my mind about anything, a moron self-imploding?” I asked Death somewhat boldly. “No, I just thought you might appreciate the future nominee for a Darwin Award, with your scientific background.” He retorted with a clear tone of sarcasm in his speech. I chuckled in response, “touche”. “I always win… I think we’ve already established that.” He said. I wanted to respond, finally finding the confidence to speak to him without the fear of turning me into a pile of dry red paint on the ground but I did not after I came to notice the crowd around had gotten eerily silent. One of the students was pouring gasoline over a young man seated in the center of the crowd formed a circle. The realization was finally dawning upon them; their friend was going to kill himself in a fit of what he considered being a poetic justice sort of thing. Suddenly their vigor faded away. They were about to see the face of death up close and personal. So was I, but I came prepared in a way. The seated man pulled out a lighter from his pocket, lit it and dropped it on the puddle of gasoline around him. A collective gasp echoed throughout the whole area. Moments later, screams of agony rang throughout the whole place. The smell of burning flash hit me in the face, making me wince in disgust, it’s not that bad, but definitely does not smell like a burning chicken, there is something unpleasant about it. I could hear people crying and begging for someone to put him out, most of them were people who were all for him setting himself ablaze mere moments earlier. All of this was just a big game for them until push came to shove and that’s when reality struck them. You have only one life, one health, you aren’t eternal, so is it really worth risking over bullshit? I covered my face with my shirt to avoid inhaling the smoke and watched as Death made his way towards the rolling human shaped fireball on the concrete floor. No one else seemed to notice the elderly man making his way towards the fire. They were all just consumed by grief and disbelief, they did not know what to do. I couldn’t see any firemen or policemen in the vicinity as it was probably some spur-of-the-moment thing. These idiots were too preoccupied with crying to do anything to try to save their friend. By the time Death made his way back to me with a large pleased grin on his face, firefighters were called to the scene, as the young man was put out it was obvious, he was already a goner. He had stopped moving some time ago. There was nothing but a pile of putrid carbon lying on the ground left. Death offered me another chicken nugget, insisting that they taste better when heated. I took a nugget out of his bucket and asked as I chewed away, “They didn’t see you go towards that kid, how’s that?” “They cannot see me unless I choose to, they cannot see you now either… we are between this world and the operating room. That’s also why it took us just an hour to get from Seattle to here by car.” He answered, with a mouth full of chicken. “The kid could see me though, as a red Goat man though…” Death continued. “Dick move” I uttered without noticing. “Pardon?” he asked in response “Oh… I mean… with all due respect… sir…” “Hah, aren’t you a cheeky one, Benjamin? Well, it’s time we get serious here, although I do see you had some empathy for the kid, not wanting him to see a monster in his final moments. I also know you did not take kindly to the people’s lack of action… even though you yourself did not budge.” He was right, I did not do anything either, but I don’t know why, I was just too busy looking at the people around me and punching them in their faces in my own mind, perhaps somewhere inside, I knew I’m just a spectator. Or maybe, I was just as stricken with fear as they were.